Wednesday, May 1, 2013

insomnia rambles

I am awake. 4 am. I woke up about 2:45. Decided rolling around in bed was not enough so I got up and turned on the computer...
I had vivid dreams about my Aunt Virginia. We were at Gramm's old house. She seemed spry yet old. She wanted to explore around the farm. Every room we went into she had to play with the light swtiches and other control buttons. Cousin Jeff was there, a French girl I know, Fabien, was there as we were making dinner... We ran out of tortillas
I was also thinking of my friend Levi... I haven't seen him for a while and wondered how he was doing since he and Kimberly broke up... I see on facebook this morning that he was "doored" by a car on his bike.
I have felt rather dreamy lately. Like I am watching my life like an outside observer. Kind of surreal. I wonder what is next. My job is going nowhere rather quickly. My boss is so scattered that I don't know if I wil have a job next week. He hired me to merchandise and promote his shop, but all I have been doing is turning wrenches. Everyday he has a different plan or vision of how he sees his shop. I try to direct his thoughts into a more consistant pattern, but it is a real challenge.
School? How wil I pay for it, how will I survive during the 3 years it will take? Will my marriage last long enough to graduate?
I just realized that all of these thoughts have kept me from dwelling on my marriage. I guess that is good.
The two things that I think of the most are putting a bullet through my head and divorce. No immidiate plan for either. I have had the single bullet theory for decades, so no worries there

No comments:

Post a Comment