My best friend in the whole wide world commit ed suicide last weekend. I am not angry at him. I am deeply disappointed, but not angry. I was delighted Monday morning when I saw the caller ID say his name. Imagine my shock when his wife told me the news. There is a lot of shame surrounding suicide. Most people can't even say the word. I have been told that suicide is the ultimate selfish act. Is murder considered a selfish act? Usually it is a crime of passion. Should suicide be considered a crime of passion as well? I can see the correlations... To compartmentalize such a complex issue is to devalue the life lost. This man worked his ass off running a restaurant. He fed the occasional homeless person if they asked, he gave a home to hurt or lost animals, he was a loving husband, and he was my best friend. Selfish is never a word I used to describe him. His life was a never-ending series of hurdles and challenges that knocked him down, he always got up to do it again, but never fully recovered from his last stumble. Saturday was the last hurdle that he just couldn't clear. He stumbled and he stumbled hard. I hope that he has found his peace.
Have you been affected by suicide? How did you manage the litany of emotion that you felt?
wow, fixme, suicide is a tough one... i have been affected by suicide and it has changed me permanently. i won't ever fully recover. i think the worst part for me is just knowing that someone i love could be in so much pain and feel that was his only option. where was i? what did i miss? what should i watch for in the future? long story short-he's dead and i miss him terribly.
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